Friday, October 26, 2012

0 Jason's NFL Power Rankings

By Jason McDonald 

Week 8 

The Cream 


1 Falcons 

They’re still undefeated and it’s hard to lose when you don’t play. Hotlanta is still the king of the castle.

2 Texans 

They got back on track by beating the crap out of the Ravens, the team that previously held the number two spot. If you keep reading you’ll notice that you no longer see the Ravens. That’s the outcome of Texas style beatdown. They are probably the most well rounded team in the NFL.

3 Bears 

Jay Cutler got mashed flat like a cartoon by Ndamukong Suh in the game against the Lions. Lucky for them, Suh only plays on defense. Chicago looked barely functional at times, but they take the three spot because the defense still rocks. Either that or the Lions just forgot how to score

4 Giants 

Eli is clutch. RG3 was about to ride off into the sunset until Eli lifted his poncho to reveal that he wasn’t wounded and that Redskins had been shooting into a steel plate then entire time. With 131 yards and a TD, Victor Cruz did a victory dance on the Redskins grave. RG3 is the real deal, but the real deal needs to realize that he left a bit too much time on clock for Eli Manning. The guy is a zombie and keeps coming back.
5 Packers 

The Packers are back, or at least as good as any other team that could be fighting for this spot. The 49ers ground out a win against the Seahawks, but they look like a one-dimensional fighter. If Aaron Rodgers can stay upright and they can have something looks similar to a run game, they can easily be in the mix till the end.

The STINK 


1 Jaguars 

The Jags pulled out a nice loss against the Raiders in a game for the Garbage Cup. Blaine Gabbart threw for an amazing 110 yards and one TD, which left them relying on their outstanding run game. Rashad Jennings ran for 44 for amazing yards and one TD. The Jags would be better off attempting 60-yard field goals on every drive.

2 Chiefs 

The Chiefs had a bye. Either that or their scores are no longer being posted. Actually with Brady Quinn getting the starting job their games might be played at 3 a.m. at a secret location to keep fans from having to witness the mess that they put on the field. They’re like a Jackson Pollock painting. It looks a bit like a mess, and I don’t know what’s going on.

3 Browns

Jimmy Haslam’s reaction to Josh Gordon’s dropped touchdown sums about three decades of Browns football. They’re in the process of turning the corner and competing at a high level. Unfortunately that corner is a couple of years away.

4 Raiders 

You don’t get a tickertape parade for beating the Jags. Surely buyer’s remorse is sinking in, because the Raiders are still terrible and the fortune they gave up to get him would have gone a long way to bringing this great franchise back to prosperity. Just joking, they would have blown those draft picks anyway.

5 Panthers 
The Panthers are new entry here in the stink, but something tells me they may be here for a while. Hell, they could be the NFL’s version of the Dark Side of the Moon and stay on the charts for years. We’ve now seen Superman Cam Newton cry. Let’s now see if he can fly around the earth a few times and erase the last few weeks of miserable football.

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